The True English
by S. B. Yeti
Summary: The Mad Mod of "Teen Titans" is questioned by Batman and is confront by someone truly English.


1"The True English"

Place: The JLU Watchtower in Earth orbit

The low buzz of muffled talking could be heard outside the room as dozens of JLU members conversed and were briefed for their next missions. But within the interrogation room everything was silent. The room was dark and unlit except for one bright light that hung over the seated figure. Flanking him on both sides were the armored JLU members Steel and Rocket Red , both of which watched the prisoner wordlessly as they waited for Batman to return. The seated prisoner was garishly dressed in blue suit with a large red and white Union Jack emblazoned across it, his bright red hair and small round glasses finished his appearance. Suddenly the door across the room opened and two figures walked into the dark room. Only their vague outlines could be seen by those in the room. The larger figure stayed back out of sight, but the gothic hero known as the Batman walked into the light and addressed the seated villain.

"So you're the Mad Mod." Batman said in a rough commanding voice. "I've heard all about you and your 'exploits" from Robin and the Teen Titans."

"That's what is says me licence, governor. I suppose I'm here so you can punish me for beating on the sprats?" Mad Mod said in a thick British accent.

"No. The Titans can handle themselves so far, and don't need us to intervene. You're here because of what you've been up to lately."Batman answered matter-of-factly. "And the name Mad Mod is not what is says on your driver's licence. We know all about you. Your real name is Neil Richards, you currently live at 1066 Hastings Road in Cheshire, England. Back in the 1960s you were a world renowned fashion designer and playboy. That is until the police discovered you were gallivanting about town as the thief known as Union Jack, sabotaging and stealing from your competitors and robbing many upstanding citizens of their jewelry. Until recently you were imprisoned in Pendragon Penitentiary in Scotland, and from prison you continued to operate your fashion empire and made a small fortune. You also began to show an interest in mental manipulation and hypnosis and began a correspondence with a gentleman calling himself Charles Dodgson. I now know that the Charles Dodgson you were writing to was just an alias for Jervis Tetch, a distant cousin of yours who's further research you've been funding. Upon your release from prison you used the knowledge Teach had given you to set yourself up as the 'Mad Mod' and began abducting and brainwashing people for a price. Did I forget anything?"

Not taken a back for an instant, the Mad Mod just smiled. "You blokes seem to know me pretty well, doncha? But you still haven't told me why I'm here."

"You here Mod, because of your appearance." Batman growled, "Or more exactly, how young you look even though you turned 76 last summer."

"Clean livin." Mod answered with a smile.

Batman wasn't fazed for a second ."We also know all about the robbery at S.T.A.R. labs. Nine months ago a life force cupular left behind from the planet Apokolips's failed invasion of Earth was stolen from S.T.A.R. labs. The device was originally used to drain the life energy of people to power the megafurnaces of Apokolips. We've had a good look at all your gear Mod and given what the Titans told us about your little "British revolution" and the technology in your cane, our scientists have discovered how you found a way to convert the coupler and allow it to actually drain a person's youth and transfer it into yourself.

"So what if I did give me wrinkles to someone else? They were paid well for the service! And it's not like the bloke didn't have a few years to give me." Mad Mod responded, his smile never changing.

"It's that exact payment that were interested in. We've been able to piece together that the person who agreed to help you regain your youth was a criminal named Vandel Savage. And as you said, since Vandel is immortal a few more decades shouldn't hurt him. But there lies our problem and the reason you're here. We need to know what Vandel plans to do with the life force cupular technology you traded him for your youth. Normally in such dangerous situations we would simply have the Martian Manhunter read your mind, but unfortunately due to your exposure to Jervis Tetch's mental manipulation technology your mind is completely unreadable. All Manhunter gets when he tries are old Monty Python episodes. Now we simply want to know all about Vadel Savages plans for the life force cupular technology.

At this Mad Mod smiled even more. "Nope. Ain't gonna tell you anything. I'm an upstanding British citizen and you certainly don't want to insult Mother England, do ya? If any of you Yanks lay a finger on me or try to force me to confess anythin it'll be an international incident" Mad Mod said with a wink. But Batman just smirked and the larger man, still in the shadows, shifted slightly.

"You're right." Batman admitted. "According to the British government you've been a model citizen since you release from prison. This is no doubt thanks to a good deal of bribing or brainwashing to the right officials. You've done a good job protecting yourself by only going after non-English targets and keeping up your contributions to various British political groups. But I'm not going to make you confess, he is." and with that Batman motioned to the large man still in the shadows.

"It don't matter which of you Justice League ducks try to make me talk, none of you are British and even if you could scrounge up a good honest British hero you still couldn't get anything out of me!" Mad Mod retorted with a laugh.

But Batman continued to smirk. "Oh, he's not a JLU member. Technically he doesn't exist here. You see you're not the only one who can make deals. Superman has a little 6th Dimensional imp who call himself Mxyzptlk who likes to bother him every so often. Last time he was here I made a little deal with Mxyzptlk myself. I gave Mxyzptlk what he asked for, five gallons of mayonnaise, a giraffe, and a restraining order against someone named Larry, and he agreed to send us someone who could talk you into telling us what Vandel Savage was up to.. His name is Brian Braddock." And Batman motioned. Out of the shadows stepped a large muscular man wearing a mostly white costume. His boots and the area around his neck and up the back of his head was blue, while a large red V ran across his torso and along his mask. All in all the man looked very much like the British flag. At his appearance the Mad Mod quickly lost smile. He could almost feral the man's raw power, so strong, so mighty, and so very British.

"You can call me Captain Britain." the large man said in a regal commanding, almost kingly voice. "At first I was reluctant to help this Justice League, but after seeing how great of an embarrassment you've been to the British Empire, I think I'm going to enjoy this. Any thing else to say before you and I begin our 'discussion'?"

"God save the Queen!", was all the Mad Mod could mumble.


End file.
